Token 180: Stop thinking it

Think about a negative thing that you tell yourself on a regular basis. Something about which you tend to be very critical of yourself. Something that returns to mind anytime you struggle with something at work or at home. You’re not good enough, smart enough, resilient enough—things like that. Do you have one? I’ll wait….

Token 179: Firmly held opinions

We love the comfort of our firmly held opinions. If you decide your boss is a bad listener, you now have a firmly held opinion that you can return to anytime he upsets you. “This might not have happened if he’d just listened to me in the first place!” And if you decide that you…

Token 178: Don’t belabor your weakness

Admitting your weaknesses is an honorable thing to do. Going on and on about your weaknesses, and how weak you are, is annoying and counterproductive. Don’t talk about your weaknesses unless it’s in one of these two contexts: Describing how you have learned to overcome them, or discussing how you plan to overcome them.

Token 177: Be good, regardless

Nature did not blend things so inextricably that you can’t draw your own boundaries—place your own well-being in your own hands. It’s quite possible to be a good man without anyone realizing it. Remember that. ~ Marcus Aurelius When he wrote about being a good man, Marcus wasn’t talking to us. He was talking to…

Token 176: The work

You can create a life you love, but it’s going to take some work. By the day, by the hour, by the minute, you must put in the work. You must commit fully to your principles, and you must put more effort into your relationships, and you must challenge yourself in ways that might be…

Token 175: The five-second rule

Make a list of the negative emotions that affect you most. Things like anger, doubt, annoyance, shame, guilt, anxiety. We all have our favorites. You might recognize in yourself an odd sort of addiction to these emotions. There’s something about wallowing in this space that just feels good, like having that extra slice of pizza…

Token 173: Parameters

We need to establish parameters. Around our time. Around our job duties. Around our extracurricular activities. We must set boundaries around these things. And sometimes we need parameters established for us. What is expected of us at work? What is our deadline? What are the limits of our autonomy? The restrictions inherent in these parameters…

Token 172: The moment of defeat

March Madness provides illustration after illustration of the ups and downs of life, in their extremes. The thrill of victory and agony of defeat, indeed. The coaches and players on the losing side always say the right things after these games, but their immediate reactions to defeat are much more revealing. Do they lie on…

Token 171: Wasted hours

How many hours have you spent binge watching shows that you can now barely recall? How much time have you spent sitting on the couch, trying to keep up with your inbox while ignoring your family? How often do you find yourself counting the hours at work, just waiting and waiting and waiting to be…